How to tie a tie

They also need to know how to change a tire, give a hug, make money, be responsible with money, apologize, cook with real ingredients,  replace doorknobs, ace an interview, play an instrument, dance, sit and listen, match colors, make a fire, tell a joke, perform the Heimlich maneuver, pack a moving truck, show up early, and provide loving support to all family and friends all the time. No, I’m not listing all the things that men need to do, but also about skills that we, as women, need to possess as well. Knowing how to tie a tie is one of those skills.

So how important is that tie really?

Here’s why I ask: The GoTie.

I have one sitting on my desk as I type.  I can put it on in 15 seconds, and that includes fiddling with my collar to make sure no tie parts are poking out the back.  Once that’s done, I’m showing off a tie with a Half-Windsor knot that drops to the middle of  the belt buckle and features a perfectly centered dimple.  The right knot with the right length and the right dimple every time.

I know how to tie a tie.  It takes me 5 to 20 minutes, depending on knot choice, tie width, and material.  But I don’t want to.  And I don’t think I should have to. I learned because I lived with 5 boys throughout university, and I either helped them with their ties or risk being late every time we went somewhere fancy. 

Ties begans their lives as colorful, decorative strips of cloth that doubled as napkins.  In fact, men only stopped using neckties as napkins in the 1600s.  In the intevenening centuries between then and now, ties haven’t changed with mens fashion.  They’re still the same as they were 400 years ago.  Men no longer need to learn how to shoe a horse or grow corn.  Why are we expected to learn how to tie a tie when clear alternatives exist?

To clarify: I believe in having skills.  Manliness still exists, even if none of us absolutely have to rope horses and ride them until they’re broken any more.  Modern skills both genders need include basic vehicle maintenance, good grammar in emails, and walking out on the porch in your underwear at 2:00am to investigate weird noises.  All I’m suggesting is that we remove tie tying from the list for “the men only list”

What do you think?  Tie tying: Necessary skill or outdated relic?